Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Put Out on the First Date

I love helping people by giving GOOD gay relationship advice and I want to help you too.  There are far too many single gay men out there which is quite ironic because there are so many single gay men out there!

If you want to know how to have a successful gay relationship the most important step is to start off right!

A hookup is just a hookup!

We both know that deep in your heart you’re tired of hooking up. At my worst I wasn’t even hooking up because I was horny I just did it because I was bored and wanted intimate contact.

Many gay guys on grindr will hookup, hoping and praying that it will turn into something real.

I read a really good article a few years back in the HuffPost about a very good looking young man that would hookup but be so disappointed when he would find out that it was just a hookup.

The reason a hookup is not a good way to get a boyfriend is because the mindset that is created is just of a hookup. If you’ve hooked up with someone he already knows your cock size, how you are in bed, and what your most intimate space (your home) looks like.

There’s simply no mystery anymore. On top of that you’ve taught him to objectify you and see you as nothing more than an object to relieve his sexual frustrations.

Just as straight guys make the mistake of trying to be a girl’s friend to get her to like him gay men (many of them) make the mistake of hooking up and hoping that it will turn into something real.

Sorry…it won’t…

Think about the last time you hooked up and the he caught feelings.

Were you so excited that finally someone physically appealing caught feelings or did you think ‘oh God dude it was just a booty call!’?

Most likely the latter!

Now think about why you felt that way.

Is it because in your mind you’ve already objectified him like a newspaper (does anyone read those anymore?) and now that you’ve gotten what you wanted you no longer have use for him?  Until your’re horny again that is…

That’s exactly how the guy you wouldn’t stop texting but wouldn’t text you back felt.

Therefore, if you want to start a real sincere relationships don’t begin with a hookup! 

When’s the right time to screw?

We’re men. So sexuality is a big part of who we are.

If you try to tell a suitor that you won’t have sex until he puts a ring on it you can count on a life of perpetual single-hood. Unless you like in an Ahmish Paradise, I guess, but even then you’d be banished for being gay.

Use your tool(s) wisely! 

Sex is one of your most powerful tools to attract and keep a man. However, lets be honest even the best sex isn’t something to base a relationship on.

Having the discipline to use your tool(s) wisely will put you 3 steps ahead of your competition!

Here’s what most guys do:

Most guys do one of two things:

  1. They give up the goodies right on the first date
  2. They try to be prudes and make him wait too long

The reason both of these tactics are wrong is because they both will cause a guy to lose interest in you.

If you give up your goodies right away and then text him incessantly the next day you’ve just marked yourself as desperate and you’ve taken out the anticipation from your relationship.

If you try to be a prude and make him wait too long he’ll lose interest in you and think you’re not for reason. Resisting sex just for the sake of resisting it isn’t necessarily a good thing and he may even begin to doubt your sincerity!

If it’s an inter-generational relationship he may even begin to suspect you’re just a gold digger that wants the freebies but not give anything in return.

A personal story

I was dating a guy and I was really into him. He asked to sleep over at my apartment and when he did he wouldn’t have sex. A light kiss on the lips is all he would do. 

I know he was trying to entice me but all it did was annoy me. Usually when a guy asks to sleep over that means some sexual activity is going to be involved. 

I decided to stick around but after a month he still wouldn’t put out. What’s worse he would lie and say he was going to put on on Friday or something and then make up an excuse not to come over on Friday!

Finally after a month of this nonsense I told him to “put out or get out!” 

He declined and I broke up with him.

That was an asshole thing for me to say but I was pissed off by his stupid little games. To this day he still messages me and wants to get back together but my interest is completely gone now.

I don’t regret breaking up with him one bit to be honest. 

My point is the right time to have sex is between being a prude and being too easy. 

What should you do?

Start off right!

First learn how manifestation can help you to get whatever you want including your perfect guy!

Second let him know from the beginning that you’re not the type of guy to put out right away. That way he’ll know what to expect.

Then, on the second or third date when you spend the night make out with him. Also consider giving him a hand-job.

I like this strategy because you’re still showing him you’re not easy but at the same time you’re also showing him you have genuine sexual interest.

Maybe after a month or so you can advance to a blow job. After  that when and only when you feel he is serious about you should you graduate to full anal intercourse.

The idea is to use carrots and sticks to keep him walking on the path towards you.

If you just hit him with sticks by saying ‘no no no’ he’ll leave you. If you use carrots (making out and hand-jobs for example) along with sticks (saying no to full intercourse) then you will entice him enough to make the effort to reach the sexual finish line with you!

If you are feeling sexually frustrated try this

By PackedMan

Hi, I'm Cam aka Packed Man. I'm a counselor and a loving partner. After winning my own battle of the bulge (I lost 100 lbs) I know what its like and I want to help people on their journey to happiness and fitness! Furthermore, I make no bones in letting people know this is how I earn my living and therefore some of the articles may contain affiliate links. This provides a strong incentive to make sure any products I recommend are of good quality so hopefully, you'll follow my recommendations to improve your life journey.

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