How to Avoid Being Friendzoned!

how to avoid being friendzoned
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So you want to know how to avoid being friendzoned?  I get male clients of all ages coming into my office telling me that they want to date but always get friendzoned by the girl that they like!   Here are my top 10 tips on how to avoid being friendzoned!

Lets start off by saying what being friendzoned really means

Despite some of the rheotoric you may hear online a friendzone is nothing short of a rejection. If a girl is friendzoning you that’s really bad news and it doesn’t mean she wants to be your friend either.

Girls friendzone guys because its a nice way to reject them. Period. Really , though if you’ve already made your move you won’t be friends much longer as it would just be too awkward.

That’s why the friendzone is more like a black hole. There’s no getting out of it most times.

1. Listen to her!

This seems easy but it’s not. People when having a debate or discussion often prioritize on what they want to hear and never end up noticing a feeble voice from a corner trying to make an entry into the conversation.

They think they listen to everyone but no they don’t. When a girl is sitting with you in a gang make sure that everyone listens to her thoughts and know how she feels.

Best way to do this is to ask for her opinion, conveying indirectly that her opinion matters. That’s a heads up for you because now you are no longer in her friendzoned list.

2. Text her first

This one is easy. But that does not mean a good morning and a good night would suffice. Talk to her and be very casual. Engage in conversations which u would normally do with your friends.

Keep this as a regular habit, so that she gets used to the fact that when she gets up in the morning your name always pops up in the message box. But whenever your busy , then just because u never texted …. Surprise !! She will text u first. Win win !!

3. Make Eye Contact

Women like confident men. That’s an obvious thing. You don’t need to be a jerk and look flirty enough to scare her away. Look straight into her eyes while she talks.

Look at her when she enters the room. Look at her when she is sitting with a bunch of people along with you. Do not try a lame romantic look( you don’t need to try that hard, just look …. Not in a creepy way!!)

4. Say Hi!

I know sometimes you feel why the heck she notices and never says hi. Don’t be the shy person here when considering the fact that you are the one perusing her.

Girls say hi too!

But literally don’t wait for it. Sometimes when you never say Hi first !! She might end up thinking you have an attitude. Girls hate attitude in guys!! Only girls can play a bad attitude well not guys. Sorry

–>Take this quiz to see how well you know how to talk to girls

5. Ask her out casually

When you are speaking to her , try to tell her what your plans are for the weekend and ask her about HER plans. Usually she would say just chilling at home and nothing else.

That’s the queue for you to ask if she wants to come hiking or trekking with you. If you are a shy guy don’t worry , asking her to join your group of friends would be great too. That’s is not exactly a date but you would now have a stronger relationship as friends.

6. Hold the door for her

This shows concern and care. If you don’t show that via this particular action then I don’t think you can have a girl in future. Girls notice everything​ about you, you should know that.

They notice if you hold the door or not. The first thing that a girl thinks when you don’t hold the door is that , you are a self centered person who has 0 percent interest in her.

That’s is the least you would want. Also do not try to avoid helping her with anything that she asks you.

7. Compliment her

You do not need to do this often. But at least try to once in a while just to show that you do notice her. That means a lot to girls. Some statements as simple as “ pretty dress” stays in their head for a week. (Trust me!!)

If you see her let her know. Oh wow that outfit really works for you. That’s especially more helpful than saying nice dress because it conveys that you see she really knows how to put herself together and you acknowledge the effort she put into looking nice.

Trust me women do put a lot of effort into looking nice! You’ll gain a thousand points acknowledging it!

Note of caution!

Women are on the look out for man whores and just jerks that want to get into their pants! That’s why you need to be careful to not just compliment her appearance.

Make sure you also compliment something non-physical like her intelligence or her talents. Girls love to be called smart so you definitely want to touch on that as well.

8. Do not flirt with other girls around her !! Nahh that never works

This is a huge myth that says ,.. boys who flirt around with other girls in front of their crush have 90 % chance to make her jealous and also convey indirectly that the boy is limited edition (Mr Charming ) .

A girl who already has a bunch of boys trying to impress her would never second the notion that you are genuinely interested in her when you go around flirting with others. No don’t do that!!! (Major Fail)

I honestly don’t know who started this lie and how so many guys bought it! How would you feel if a girl was flirting with other guys around you? Would that make you want her more or just make you think she’s a slut?

9. Be Mysterious and Easy to talk to at the same time

I know that this is confusing. But this one is very simple. Do not tell her everything that has ever happened in your life. Let her keep guessing till the end.

At the same time also do not be too silent when she trying to have a hearty conversation with you. There are multiple ways of expressing your emotions without letting out your past details.

If you don’t know how to express , then ask her about how she is able to express so perfectly.

Learn how to be mysterious! 

10. Dress decent

Last but not the least , this one is the toughest. Boys being casual makes them think they are the cool dudes of the universe. No boys you need to buckle up and know how to groom yourself.

Girls are not that picky when it comes to boys. Remember it’s not the girls who marry beautiful men. It is always the other way round. So don’t worry if you are not beautiful(handsome).

Girls fall for the personality i,e the way boys carry themselves and the way they talk and move. You don’t need to dress expensive, just dress simple but classy.

For extra credits :

11. Tease her a little

Do not go over the top by humiliating her in front of everybody. Do it in a mild way and make her laugh. This will make her think that you see her as a close friend and not just a friend.

Here are some examples:

Good tease:

“Oh remember when you told off that rude waiter in front of everyone? I was like damn this girl has more balls than I do!”

Bad tease:

“Remember that awful dress you wore last week? I wasn’t sure if that was your or a balooga whale!”

If you notice the good tease was actually a compliment while the bad tease as just an insult that will get you friendzoned at best and physically assaulted at worst.

Which brings me to a cardinal rule of teasing: Never ever say anything negative about a women’s weight or appearance! This goes even if she asks you and insists ‘oh its okay I want you to be honest”. Girls want the illusion that they’re pretty no matter what.

There’s no joke or any tease about a woman’s weight that will put you in her good graces. If you want to know more about effective teasing here’s a great way to learn.

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About PackedMan

Hi I'm John aka Packed Man. I'm a counselor at a gay & lesbian center in the mid-west. Dontcha know! LOL ! I have been helping men of all sexual orientations heal for over 10 years. I wrote this blog so I can help heal anyone willing to put in the effort

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5 Comments on “How to Avoid Being Friendzoned!”

  1. Hey man thaks for this. I got the ‘make her crave you thing’ it’s got some good tips in it. I was wondering though how many times do I have to get rejected until I finally get a good girl to like me?

    1. That depends on your progress! If you keep it up and learn quickly then maybe you never have to be rejected ever again!

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